Sitcoms and Sorcerors

Six months later, I finally got around to writing up a tea circle of magic users for the Dordogne campaign. Sometimes I have a clear idea of how my NPCs will act, and other times I find their personality arising spontaneously. With these, there’s an obvious inspiration that will help guide their actions and personalities and maybe bring some laughs too...

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The weekly magic users tea party of Domme is an open invitation affair in this charming small bastide. The local magic users are nearly always all in attendance, and the meeting location goes back and forth between one Geronymous’ garden and the small, clean, and uncrowded establishment known simply as “Tom’s Tavern”.

It’s ostensibly an informal occasion, but in truth, the manners of everyone in attendance are highly scrutinized. If someone does not attend a meeting, they are invariably gossiped about at length by everyone else. Particular details of their dress or manner will be discussed and debated behind their back. Any seeming offense will eventually be brought to their attention inside or outside of the tea party, usually causing a short banning or boycott of the gathering by some of the parties involved. Otherwise the conversation revolves around the minutia of their lives, with occasionally more interesting stories contributed by Cranner.

Geronymous - Fairly good looking, charming, and slightly arrogant, this magic user (“Ger” for short) makes his income by traveling to small towns where he performs tricks and tells stories. He earns a decent living at this, and is quite popular with the ladies as well. Of the tea party’s members, he’s the most well adjusted and normal. He is the least likely to commit to going off on any wild adventure, but rarely he will if it seems fairly safe. He will not hesitate to leave any such party if things look like they aren’t going well. Both he and Jorgen are very protective of their magic and not likely to share their knowledge easily. Geronymous will go so far as to act as though he invented a particular spell, accusing others of stealing it from him (“So - you’re using my magic now?!?”)... At any given tea party, a female magic-using consort of his is often in attendance.

Jorgen - Short and stocky, but strong, Jorgen has a serious confidence problem. He looks up to Geronymous, and the two of them have been best friends since childhood (although what Geronymous gets out of the relationship at this point is questionable). Jorgen does surprisingly well with the ladies himself, considering his mediocre charisma, though part of this may have to do with the fact that he’s close to Geronymous. Jorgen’s finances are often in doubt, but somehow he always seems able to scrape through. He’s unlikely to ever hire on with a party unless completely desperate. Being a total coward, he will never put himself in danger, fleeing from it immediately without regard to the expense of others. Due to an embarrassing incident he doesn’t wish to discuss, he is particularly afraid of fire.

Ilaina - Short, pretty, and a bit of a firecracker, Ilaina actually went out with Geronymous for a while. But then what local magic using gal hasn’t? She still secretly pines for him, but will gladly court strong, handsome fighters (especially those that aren’t nearly as smart as herself). In comparison to the rest of the group, she is slightly more likely to think of others rather than herself in a crisis. She is unlikely to join a group of adventurers, but if she does, there’s a 50% chance she will decide against it at the last moment and not show up, and a 25% chance she will just forget about it beforehand.

Cranner - Tall, thin, and not terribly attractive, Cranner is nevertheless a very charismatic persona, although not quite as much as Geronymous. Though he appreciates the embrace of a woman, he does not crave it as most do. He is clearly the most independent of the bunch, and though never in need of money, he always has some profitable venture planned or actually in process. Even still, he likely has no cash upon his person, and will resort to asking for small personal loans. Of the regular tea party group, he’ll be the most likely to join any group of adventurers on a lark, but he is equally fickle and likely to flee in self-interest if his well-being is about to be compromised. He is always full of surprises in terms of his experience and is clearly well connected. Rumor has it that he may have once inherited a large sum of money, as it never seems to worry him and neither does he especially desire it.

Pneumis - Short and fat, always out of breath and breathing hard, Pneumis is an unattractive fellow, yet the best friend of Cranner. He is desperately in love with Ilaina, and always seeking to hear about her doings and to somehow gain her favor. Financially secure, he will undertake minor tasks in return for information about Ilaina’s desires and motivations. He dislikes Geronymous greatly but fears him - he wishes above all to see him humiliated and defeated, but is himself a coward and will only undermine his nemesis if he feels certain of victory or at least of anonymity in the process. Anytime a misfortune befalls either of them, each first assumes it’s the fault of the other.

Swords & Wizardry Stats:

Geronymous
5th level Magic User: HP 19; AC 9 ; ATK dagger for d4 damage
Spells: Charm Person, Hold Portal, Magic Missile, Protection from Evil, Invisibility, Phantasmal Force, Fly

Jorgen
3rd level Magic User: HP 15; AC 9 ; ATK dagger for d4 damage w/ STR bonus
Spells: Protection from Evil, Shield, Darkness

Ilaina
4th level Magic User: HP 12; AC 9 ; ATK dagger for d4 damage
Spells: Charm Person, Magic Missile, Sleep, Pyrotechnics, Strength

Cranner
4th level Magic User: HP 16; AC 9 ; ATK dagger for d4 damage
Spells: Charm Person, Shield, Light, Knock, Detect Evil

Pneumis
3rd level Magic User: HP 10; AC 9 ; ATK dagger for d4 damage
Spells: Hold Portal, Read Languages, Knock

Other tea party attendees:
•Consort of Geronymous: (likelihood 50%) 1st level MU or (likelihood 10%) 1-2nd level Elf
•Consort of Jorgen (likelihood 10%) 1st level MU, Ftr, or Thief
•Consort of Ilaina (likelihood 20%) 2-4th level Ftr or (10%) 1st-2nd level MU
•Consort of Cranner (likelihood 10%) 1-2 level MU, Cleric (Nun), or Ftr
•Random Traveling MU, level 1-3.