The last time I went to a library sale, I got there there just a few minutes before they were going to open. The funny thing is, I took the elevator up from the parking garage, and just as the doors opened a gal a few feet to my right unhooked a rope from the doorway she was standing in and said, “Come on in!” Happy to oblige, I stepped forward only to notice a line of over a hundred people behind me suddenly surge and push me into the sales room. Animals! I haven’t seen such a pack of wolves and vultures since last call at the civic baseball stadium. I came out of the place with only a couple of Fortean Times magazines. The only reason one of those was probably left was because of the feature article’s Satanic artwork on the cover.
Since then, however, I have recruited a spy to work the scene for me. She’s a lovely older lady who volunteers at the library. In return, I keep her computer humming like a precision sewing machine. Following some months of silence where her field reports were becoming less frequent, I finally received notice that there’d been a donation of several books with the words “Dungeons and Dragons” somewhere on the front. As this was exactly what my original instructions had said to watch out for, I eagerly sent word to put them aside and buy them for me at the price they’d be sold for at the next book sale. She wrote me back and assured me it was done, and that there were three books which would cost me $6 total.
I anxiously looked forward to her visit. Of course my mind raced with the possibilities - little OD&D books, 1st printing Deities and Demigods, some rare module maybe? Well, she came over, handed me the three books, and my heart sank a bit as I paid her the six bucks. They were that new version the kids are playing these days that everyone’s been bitching about lately (pictured below). Damn! Well, maybe there’s something in them I can use.
Never Use The Bathroom
53 minutes ago