Friday, March 18, 2011

"Hey, There's Something Different About These Orcs..." (d20)

d20 Table of Odd Orcs

1. Obviously blind (but pretending not to be).
2. Speak with a Scottish accent.
3. Drink tea. Use silverware.
4. Totally high on dungeon fungus.
5. Moss suckers - afraid of water.
6. Stay well away from anyone with a ten foot pole.
7. Wearing dapper hats.
8. Knife cult: Only use knives as weapons. Tolerate those who carry knives. Admire those with fancy or magical knives. Scorn those who don’t like knives or use weapons other than knives. Knives. Knives. Knives! They really like knives.
9. Wearing expensive, fashionable dresses.
10. Vegan, dirt-worshipping pacifists.
11. Coin eating Xorn worshippers.
12. All carry copies of a little red book entitled “Underground Equality” written in gnomish.
13. Tracheotomies apparently the latest fad in orken body art.
14. Sing taunts in a dramatic opera-like fashion when attacking (a la Ring of the Nibulung)
15. Best looking orcs you’ve ever seen. Still ugly though - just sayin’! Smell nice too.
16. Zebra striped. Highly contagious.
17. "You guys play boneball?" Totally obsessed with some strange sport.
18. STONE DEAF FROM WATERFALL IN NEARBY ROOM
19. Mumblers.
20. All have the same tattoo of a hot elf chick.

Rolling more than once is encouraged.

8 comments:

James said...

Wagnerian Orcs! Epic!

Tim Riley said...

Cannot wait to spring these on the guys.

Roger the GS said...

These made me laugh. Good show!

DrBargle said...

That is good. I'm increasingly drawn to random tables as a prod to creativity. I prefer 2d6/3d6 though, as it allows you to build in a rare-common scale.

richard said...

I'm down with the opera lovers, too. Suddenly I want to see one skinny orc with a loud-mouthed friend falling in love with an Orc maiden from a rival band. I'd never stoop to the Marriage of Pigaro, though.

ze bulette said...

Thanks guys, it was fun writing these up (Kill the wabbit!).

David said...

Opera orcs, love it!

I think I love the orcs high on Dungeon Fungus even more!

satyre said...

Contagious Zebra orcs FTW.
Although the idea of operatic orcs in expensive dresses and dapper hats has a faint air of Clockwork Orange about it.

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