Monday, July 11, 2011

The Maria LX Series Robot: Price Reduced!

Message from Acme Advertising Dept: For Immediate Release

Recent upgrades to our manufacturing facility have allowed us to dramatically reduce the cost of our “Maria LX” retro-design model from our line of general purpose and servant staff robots. They're not just for nobles any more!

Recalling a simpler time of working class idealism and introspection - the Maria LX’s appearance is inspired by the very first “moving pictures” of early 20th century Terra. Retro is back! Maria utilizes polished stainless steel construction throughout, with advanced gyroscopic stabilization, energy efficient servos and a commercial-grade performance battery. Charges last for weeks - not days, and recharge times are nearly instantaneous. Shock absorbent gel surrounds the LX CPU, providing additional protection for your investment, and our award winning voice recognition software makes engaging with Maria a pleasurable experience - whatever your homeworld.

“Our customers are enthralled by our Marias’ grace and charm, and their antique exterior appearance fits wonderfully with our decor!”
Alfred Abel, Owner
Librari of Eldish Libaxions, New London

The Maria LX series skirts many local prohibitions against a “too human- like” appearance with its quaint, early android design. Its hackability makes it attractive to both smugglers and sexual deviants, creating a back alley industry of meat clothiers and illegal software programmers. Such hacked units have a reputation for malfunctioning spectacularly and without warning - seemingly at the least opportune times.

Here's a 2d6 table of suggestions for when the GM determines a malfunction occurs:

2: Explodes: minor/serious damage to those nearby.
3: Stuck in a loop: repeats numbers while head continually spins around a la The Exorcist.
4. Replays overheard snippets of private conversations - in multiple languages, loudly.
5. A massive belch/fart of flame: sets nearby object(s) on fire.
6. Error in Translation: Conveys insult or otherwise miscommunicates important information.
7. Electrical discharge: short circuits nearby tech.
8. Vents huge amount of steam or smoke, obscuring everything in 5m radius.
9. Acts lasciviously, speaks with a helium affected voice.
10. Electro-magnetic implosion: Attracts all loose, small metal objects to itself within 5m radius.
11. “Pees” itself* and collapses shortly thereafter (oil=slippery!).
12. Eyes pop out: Minor/serious damage to someone at a distance.
* suggested by Carolyn, age 10

Click the thumbnail image above to enlarge or download the 4x6" PDF of the Maria LX series paper miniatures.

Fritz Lang's "Metropolis"


Dr Rotwang said...


Trey said...

I'm gonna need to save up to buy an entourage of them--'cause, you know, that's how I roll.

ze bulette said...

@Trey: With or without their meat clothes?

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