Planet Comics Covers from the Golden Age

Musical Intermission

Got bored and put this together. Joy!

Meat Meat Meat and Meat

This Consolidated track always cracks me up.

This is not a love song.

Intermission Music - Fantastic Soap

The beer made me make this.

FLGS Video Walk Through: Heroes Haven in Roseburg, OR

I was in Roseburg on business a couple of days ago and thought I'd check out what it had in the way of game stores. I couldn't find the first one I looked for (bad Google directions or out of business now I think), but I did find Heroes Haven. It's probably 3/4 comics, but there's an excellent selection of games and miniatures too. The owner was very friendly and willing to be on video sharing some of his thoughts as a store owner. I still have to go over what I shot and see if there's anything I can salvage, it's nearly impossible to shoot steady with something as small as an iPod, even with image stabilization added afterwards.

A Video Walk Through the FLGS - Evolution Gaming in Eugene, OR

There are four games stores in our little town - here's a quick walk through of Evolution Gaming on Hilyard. Sorry for the poor quality, I was in a hurry - I even forgot to get a good shot of the front door from outside... maybe the music will help make up for it.

Post-Punk Musical Intermission. "We just do our stuff."

My next DM-beer-conversion music. If you enjoyed that and haven't yet seen the videos below, high hilarity coming your way...

Intermission Music - Iconoclastic Minimalism 1989

I had to go to a pub to catch the Giants game the other night and someone put this little ditty on the jukebox. I know, not everyone's cup of tea, but it brought back a few memories...

Helios Creed - Alien Landscape

Intermission Music - Air Drawn Dagger

Sasha's Mr. Tiddles.

Some Intermission Music

Here’s the intermission music I looped during our last session's short breaks - I thought the rain was a nice touch and once I played some sounds of thunder after we started up again. Doesn’t it often start raining just before final epic battles?

Intermission Music

Here's some intermission music to play the next time the DM has to do a beer conversion. It's sync'd to some video from our little CaveCon thing. It might be just a tad overdramatic, but what the hell.


Last night I accidentally closed a word processor window that'd been open for days, erasing the mini-dungeon key I'd been working on for my wife's game. Wah. I couldn't deal with typing it all in again immediately so wasted some time with this today instead.

Time Table 1972

Just a bit of progressive rock history, from a time before their drummer managed to completely destroy the band's magic...

Genesis - Time Table

A carved oak table,
Tells a tale
Of times when kings and queens sipped wine from goblets gold,
And the brave would lead their ladies from out of the room
to arbours cool.

A time of valour, and legends born
A time when honour meant much more to a man than life
And the days knew only strife to tell right from wrong
Through lance and sword.

Why, why can we never be sure till we die
Or have killed for an answer,
Why, why do we suffer each race to believe
That no race has been grander
It seems because through time and space
Though names may change each face retains the mask it wore.

A dusty table
Musty smells
Tarnished silver lies discarded upon the floor
Only feeble light descends through a film of grey
That scars the panes.
Gone the carving,
And those who left their mark,
Gone the kings and queens now only the rats hold sway
And the weak must die according to nature's law
As old as they.

Why, why can we never be sure till we die
Or have killed for an answer,
Why, why do we suffer each race to believe
That no race has been grander
It seems because through time and space
Though names may change each face retains the mask it wore.

For Whom Does the Squonk Cry? ...It cries for you.

Squonks are found in heavily forested regions and are rarely seen. They are extremely ugly and solitary creatures, having thick loose skin that hangs in folds around their midsection with warts and open oozing sores that the creatures pick at constantly. About the size of a large wolf, they walk on all fours but will occasionally stand on their hind legs and sit like a person. Their mouth is usually agape and panting, and their large fish like heads and bulbous eyes are always bobbing and tearful.

They are usually encountered by those who first heard their incessant sobbing and sought to investigate. Many reasons are given for why the creatures are always crying, but the truth of the matter remains uncertain. Some speculate that it’s because of a curse that has befallen their species, while others say that it’s merely intended to lure potential victims. In any case, they are very unpredictable and can be quite dangerous. They are able to move quickly when they wish to, and besides their long claws, they also have numerous sharp teeth in their large mouths.

The Squonk is often blamed for the disappearance of children and young maidens. They speak the common tongue, and have the magical ability of disappearing into a pool of their own tears.

Squonk

Armor Class: 7[12]
Hit Dice: 3+3
Attacks: 2 claws (1d3), 1 bite (1d6)
Saving Throw: 14
Special: Regenerates 1hp/round. Teleport (can only be used when unseen, leaves behind a pool of nonmagical water)
Move: 18
Challenge Level / XP: 5 / 240

I've been meaning to stat this creature for about thirty years now, having originally been inspired by this song. This post's contents licensed under the OGL.

The Torture Never Stops

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window hole a hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day;
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Slime 'n rot, rats 'n snot 'n vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldiers, man, holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes of every tool of pain
An' a sinister midget with a bucket an' a mop where the blood goes down the drain;

An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig in a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loins 'n the groins is soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
And disagree, well no-one durst
That's right
He's the best of course of all the worst
He's the best of course of all the worst
Some wrong been done, he done it first
Some wrong been done, he done it first

An' he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops,
In the night of the iron sausage,
Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Who are all these people that he's locked away up there
Are they crazy?
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?
It has never been explained since at first it was created
But a dungeon like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at her
Look at him
Yeah you!
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in

Thanks Frank.

Sitting in the Waiting Room

The Missus and I were sitting in a waiting room, she reading her Time magazine, and me reading the 3rd issue of Fight On! I only bought recently… I couldn’t stop myself from continually mentioning its awesomeness to her.

“Check this out - an undead shark - swims in a river of blood!” … “Check out this Type 5D Devil picture, it looks like something out of the Yellow Submarine” … “Listen to this! ‘This monster-god reposes in forgotten basalt deeps, and his once thronging temples have stayed abandoned since the horrific collective suicide of his faithful’!”

“Would you shut up and let me read my own magazine!?!” she says.

“But yours sucks! - Look at this, the Spawning Grounds of the Crab-Men!”

Eventually it works, and she puts down her magazine and is now laughing and smitten with mine.

“This magazine rocks, it’s just crazy stuff people put together that you can use in your own game or just get inspired by… You should try it. Just make up a monster, maybe half-man like the crab-men here. What would yours be?”

“Giraffe people,” she says. “And they attack you by hitting you with their heads that they swing on their long necks.”

The grooming of the future D&D player continues. :-)