Thursday, February 17, 2011

"I think there's something down there..."

After a hard day’s work I returned to the castle to make myself a martini. A gin-less one, just to see if Trey was as crazy as I thought he was.

Suddenly there was a great barking commotion! One of my dogs-at-arms sought to alert me to an intruder. The Beagle led with nervous whimpering to a place in my office where she’d discovered the odor of something. First the snakes coiled around the surge protector under my desk and now this! Not having the olfactory abilities of my lieutenant, I listened intently at the floor where she led me. Clearly she thought something was just beneath it. Then we heard a cough or a sneeze; a low pitched sound… disturbingly un-catlike.

I quickly finished my accursed vodka “martini” and steeled myself. There was no choice but to get a torch, a pointed stick, and go outside in the rain to the vent entrances that allowed entry under the castle. These have all been blocked off, confound it! How did the beast get inside? I got down and began crawling through the entrance, having looked inside first with my torch to make sure there wasn’t something lying in ambush.

Since there are several sub-chambers beneath our home due to separate foundations, I couldn’t see all the way to the space below my office. If I was going to crawl there, I would be seriously committing myself to a potential battle, without backup or even witnesses as the lady of the house was away. Furthermore, a quick retreat would be near impossible. It didn't help that I’m slightly arachnophobic either.

Screw it, I thought. This is a job for a dungeoneer. I found out what one would cost and am now trying to decide whether the sounds of the monster might be tolerable, given their relative infrequency. As long it stays down there, the worst it could do is die I suppose, in which case we might have to take a trip while the corpse finishes rotting. Later on, the Lady suggested I use my spell of Pyrotechnics. I will meditate on this, and perhaps attempt another foray into the dungeon.

In other news, I’ve been very busy with work and studying. Still gaming of course, just a little too preoccupied and tired to post here more frequently. Hopefully things will open up a bit soon...

12 comments:

Capheind said...

I'm with you, the Herbals make a martini a martini, when you remove the gin and practically all of the vermouth your just drinking vodka... which insults both Martini's and Vodka.

Sean Robson said...

Great story. And... Trey's nuts. Bombay Sapphire or nothing!

Stuart said...

Gordon's if you're making a Vesper. ;-)

What about a 10' pole for your dungeon? You could hang your lantern on it and stay in the relative safety of the surface world while checking inside for traps and/or monsters.

Trey said...

Trey and James Bond, remember. And are we?

ze bulette said...

I should buy Trey a martini somehow for subjecting him to this ribbing. :)

@Stuart: Way ahead of you! I'm trying to devise a way to mount an iPod on a 10' pole (or broomstick) in order to film the beast. Say cheese, monster!

C'nor (Outermost_Toe) said...

Tape? Superglue a piece of mechanic's wire to each end, and then hang it off of there?

Gratuitous Saxon Violence said...

Get a Badger in...

Or a Wolverine in a pinch.

Loquacious said...

Meeces, coons, rabbits, moles, squirrels, snakes and possums are possible. Possum, you would know- they smell TERRRRRRRRRRIBLE. Maybe some sort of rodent?

Hm. One of those flexible screwdriver things with a little cellphone attached?

C'nor (Outermost_Toe) said...

You wouldn't happen to live where it's been invade by Gambian Pouch Rats, Nutrias, or Capibaras, would you?

Risus Monkey said...

We've had squirrels running about in our rafter for a while... most unsettling. But not as unsettling as a monster under the house. :)

Barad the Gnome said...

If only you knew someone who owned a dog, originally bred for hunting and with an exceptional sense of smell, that might find and dispatch the intruder. ;-)

Perhaps the killer instinct has truly been bred out of us and our canine friends.

limpey said...

Send in the beagle!

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